30. September 2008 by admin.

En Tiempos Dificiles es Mejor Reir.

El Infierno a la Mexicana Un hombre muere y va al infierno. Allá descubre que hay un infierno para cada pais. Va primero al infierno Alemán y pregunta: Y ¿Que te hacen acá?: Acá­ primero te ponen frente a un foco de luz por una hora, luego en la silla eléctrica por otra hora, luego te acuestan en una cama llena de clavos por otra hora, y el resto del dí­a viene el diablo Alemán y te da latigazos. Al personaje no le gusto nada y se fue a ver en que consistian los otros infiernos. Tanto el infierno Estadounidense como el Ruso y el resto de infiernos de distintas naciones hací­an lo mismo; entonces, ve que en el infierno Méxicano hay gente esperando entrar. Intrigado, pregunta al ultimo de la fila: Y ¿Qué es lo que hacen acá?: Aquí te ponen frente a un foco por una hora, en una silla eléctrica por una hora, luego en una cama llena de clavos por otra hora, y el resto del dí­a viene el diablo Mexicano y te da latigazos. Pero es exactamente igual a los otros infiernos, y ¿por qué aquí­ hay tanta gente queriendo entrar?……. Porque nunca hay luz, la silla e léctrica no sirve, los clavos de la cama se los robaron y el diablo Mexicano viene, firma y se va. !! Viva México.!!!PARA LEER MAS CHISTES HAZ CLICK EN LA IMAGEN o visita.http://eduardoquezada.com/cartas/chistes-ii http://eduardoquezada.com/

Se encuentran dos chinos:- ‘El otlo día me comple un coche.’ - ‘Ah si?’ - ‘Si, mila, es ese de ahí.’ - ‘Y que malca es?’ - ‘Un Alfa.’ - ‘¿Lomeo?’ - ‘Lo meas y te lompo tu male, pelao cochino’

En una fiesta se acerca un mesero a ofrecerle más whisky a una muchacha:- Madame, ¿gusta otra copa? - No, gracias, me hace daño para las piernas. - ¿Se le adormecen? - No…¡Se me abren!

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENUHello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.Please select from the following options menu:If you are obsessive-compulsive , press 1 repeatedly.If you are co-dependent , please ask someone to press 2 for you.If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid , we know who you are and what you want, Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional , press 7 and Your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic , listen carefully And a little voice will tell You which number to press.. If you are manic-depressive , hang up. It doesn’t matter which number you press, Nothing will make you happy anyway. If you are dyslexic , press 9-6-9-6. If you are bipolar , please leave a message after the beep Or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you. If you are menopausal , put the gun down, Hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won’t be crazy forever. If you are blonde, don’t press any buttons. You’ll just mess it up.

Le dice la madre a la hija: ‘Mija… ¡dicen las vecinas que te estás acostando con tu novio!’ ‘Ay, mami, la gente es muy chismosa… Uno se acuesta con cualquiera y ya dicen que es el novio…’—————

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29. September 2008 by admin.

How To Solve German Shepherd Problem Behaviors - By: Jan Ryan, Posted on: 2008-09-09

German Shepherds can turn into one of two kinds of dogs. They can either be the best dogs you ever owned or they can be an owner’s worst nightmare. German Shepherd problem behaviors will usually arise from human interaction or a lack of it. A German Shepherd has natural instincts but it will gladly put aside those instincts to make its human family happy. A German Shepherd can get very attached and protective of it’s human family and if you do not follow the proper training procedures when the German Shepherd is a pup then you will get German Shepherd problem behaviors.

German Shepherds have a herding instinct that makes them very protective of their human family and also potentially very aggressive to anyone that comes near it. To offset that you need to make your German Shepherd a social animal and allow it to socialize with as many other animals and people as possible. A German Shepherd that is taught to socialize will be better adapted and much less likely to be a problem.

You need to play with your German Shepherd constantly and show it a lot of attention because German Shepherds can get really bored really fast and a bored German Shepherd will start to display problem behaviors almost instantly. That is the thing about German Shepherds, they can make behavioral adjustments almost instantly and when they do they usually revert back to their instincts. A bored German Shepherd will start to hunt and, as you can imagine, that is bad. So show your dog a lot of attention and avoid this German Shepherd problem behavior.

A German Shepherd needs to work and needs to feel like it has a job to do so always give your Shepherd tasks to accomplish and a feeling like it is doing something important. Even if that means just being the family dog, as long as the German Shepherd is working it is happy. If you neglect it then it can start to use it’s herding instincts and that can usually escalate into more aggressive behavior, which is a very bad thing.

I have always been shocked at the people that get so trusting of their German Shepherd that they let the dog watch the kids for just a minute or two. Never leave your children alone with your dog because one of the German Shepherd problem behaviors is the herding instinct.

A main German Shepherd problem behavior is the herding instinct and that can kick in at any time and if your small children are around unsupervised that can be a bad thing. So never leave your kids alone with your German Shepherd.

A German Shepherd is intelligent and loyal but just like any other breed it has natural instincts that can sometimes cause problems. A German Shepherd is not a dog you can just tie up in the yard and leave it alone, it will get bored and lonely fast and that can result in bad things.

You need to spend a lot of time with your German Shepherd and you need to teach it how to interact with other people and animals if you want to avoid major German Shepherd problem behaviors down the road.

Article Source: http://www.bestdailyarticles.com

Information about the Author: Jan Ryan is an avid lover of the German Shepherd and has a popular website where you’ll discover how to have a happy, healthy and well behaved German Shepherd. Among other topics there, you will find out more about German Shepherd Problem Behaviors plus a whole lot more.

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29. September 2008 by admin.

Is your dog healthy? - By: Purina

What is a dog’s body condition?
Body circumstance denotes to the evaluation of a dog’s figure as one indicator of his general health and well-being.

How can owners tell what body condition category their dog falls into (underfed, ideal or overfed)?
A graphic of the 3 standard body condition categories appears on the back of all PURINA dog food packages under the PURINA Life Plan , making it simple for owners to compare their dog’s body condition to the illustrations of an underfed, perfect and overfed dog:
Underfed: Ribs are highly visible.
Perfect Body Condition: Can feel and see outline of ribs. Dog has a waist when seen from above. Abdomen is tucked up when viewed from the lateral.
Overfed: Dog has no waistline when watched from above. Stomach is oval when watched from the side.

Why is it fundamental to know your dog’s body condition?
Obesity is a serious concern for dogs that can result to or aggravate certain health conditions. Keeping an ideal body condition shortens the likelihood that your dog will develop weight-related conditions that can be painful and even life threatening. A slim or ideal body condition also holds healthy joints and helps sustain healthy blood sugar levels, blood pressure and heart rate. Overall, it assists improve your dog’s overall health and well-being throughout his life.

How do you ensure a dog’s body condition?
Veterinarians utilise the PURINA Body Condition System, a scientifically validated standard produced by PURINA scientists that evaluates a pet’s body physique on a nine-point scale. Owners should consult their veterinarian first to assure their dog’s body condition on this scale, and to learn how to evaluate it at home. Mostly, there are two methods owners can use to determine a dog’s body status at home:
Carry a visual evaluation using the PURINA Life Plan version of the PURINA Body Condition System that groups a dog’s body condition into three common categories: underfed, ideal and overfed
Perform a Purina Rib Check

What is the PURINA Rib Check?
The PURINA Rib Check is a fast and simple instrument developed by PURINA to help owners and veterinarians evaluate whether or not a dog is having additional weight. There are three components to conducting a Rib Check:
1. Rib Check
Can you feel your dog’s ribs? It’s a fast and simple way to tell if your dog is having a few additional pounds. Simply set both of your thumbs on your dog’s backbone and spread both hands across his rib cage. If you can’t feel the ribs easily, your dog may require to lose weight.
2. Profile Check
Test your dog’s profile. The abdomen should appear somewhat “tucked up” behind the rib cage.
3. Overhead Check
While your dog is standing, stand directly over him and look down. You should find a clearly-defined waist behind the ribs. Nearly all dogs at a healthy weight should have an hourglass figure.

When should owners begin assessing their dog’s body condition?
Owners should assess their puppy’s body circumstance right from the begin to positively impact their dog’s health long-term. Because puppies are growing at an extraordinary rate, they demand a higher caloric intake than the common adult dog. But if a puppy’s portions aren’t controlled, such a high-calorie diet can lead to excess weight early in life that can put him on the path to the obesity. Regularly check your dog’s body condition with your veterinarian or by making the PURINA Rib Check and comparing your dog to the PURINA Life Plan graphic on packaging.

How can you help your dog accomplish and/or maintain an ideal body condition?
Consult your veterinarian to learn whether your dog is maintaining the ideal weight and body condition for his size, age and breed. Then commit yourself to providing your dog with the proper diet and regular exercise, which are the healthiest ways to maintain mint body condition. To make it easier for owners to feed to ideal body condition from puppyhood over the older years, PURINA has developed the PURINA Life Plan - a extensive approach employing particular breed size and lifestage guidelines, the PURINA Body Condition System and feeding instructions to its packaging.

Read more on Caring For Your Dog at
http://www.purina.com.my

Article Source: http://www.bestdailyarticles.com

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26. September 2008 by admin.

Buscador Quezada:

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26. September 2008 by admin.

Sera verdad? Una ex modelo y bailarina brasileña dice ser la ex amante que el candidato John McCain menciona en su libro. Cuando faltan pocas semanas para las elecciones presidenciales de Estados Unidos, comienzan a sacarle los trapitos al sol a los candidatos.

A former model and ballerina is making headlines across Brazil after being identified as John McCain’s lover 51 years ago.

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